Governing a country is hard. Especially if your entire government structure consists of rapists, gangsters, and insane Islamists who believe they are engaged in a ‘holy war’ with the main rules of conquer, kill and rule. In their Orwellian empire of crazy evils, even crimes needs laws. How to rape your slaves? – important to know and to regulate.

Even psychopaths need rules, and of course the caliphate needs order if it is not to disintegrate into, well, chaos? But what happens when the ones making the rules are complete lunatics themselves?

Here are the five weirdest and most despicable examples of ISIS rule-making, called Fatwa:

1. Fatwa No 50 regulates the legality of table soccer. It is allowed to play football in principle, but not for money. The wooden players must not have human features and cursing during play is strictly forbidden. Similar rules apply to billiard – but there is an extra rule for that. It’s Fatwa No 49.

2.Fatwa No 65 says that no ISIS fighter can travel to the “land of the unbelievers” without a “legitimate reason”. A “legitimate reason“ probably means that only travels that end in the killing of said unbelievers are OK. No member of the Islamic State is allowed to support any illegitimate travels financially.

3. Fatwa No 68 rules that “unbelievers and their organs” deserve no respect. Saving the live of a Muslim has priority, which gives license to harvest organs from healthy non-muslims should the need arise.

4. Fatwa No 61 says that men are allowed to bleach their beards. Women are allowed to bleach their eyebrows. But don’t think for a minute that you have discovered even the tiniest shred of feminism here. The very same fatwa clarifies that women shouldn’t do anything that “could be levied against them as an accusation”. Such as, you know, bleaching their eyebrows.

5. Speaking about women: Fatwa No 64 is all about how to treat your female slaves. If you are an ISIS fighter and you have sex with a daughter of your female slave, you are not allowed to also have sex with the mother. Also, father and son are forbidden from having sex with the same slave. Because that’s apparently where you have to draw the line.

All of this obviously has nothing to do with Islam which promotes to release slaves, treat people with respect and only kill in self-defense.The Qur’an and its message, as well as the exemplary life of the Prophet Muhammad are full of compassion, the virtue of tranquillity, and harmony (hilm) and peace (salam). This truth has been forgotten by the members of ISIS. Read all arguments in the legitimate fatwa by 126 high-ranking scholars against the Islamic State and its inhuman and un-Islamic methods.

When 18,000 Arabs in different countries in the Middle East were asked about the Islamic State, 89% held a negative opinion.